Better Life Habits

No Phone Zone

For years I've been suggesting to clients -- and anyone else who will listen -- to use time in the car to think-- and to STAY OFF OF THE PHONE.  I'm not a fan of multitasking in most cases, and talking on the phone (or worse, texting) is a multitasking habit that can have, and has had, grave consequences.

Statistics show that being on the phone is akin to driving drunk. It reduces brain activity associated with driving by 37%. For those who say talking on the phone is the same as talking to a passenger, I politely disagree.

As you may know, in January Oprah launched her No Phone Zone campaign and today is officially No Phone Zone Day. Ideally, starting today people would forever stop texting and talking on the phone in the car. Is that likely? No.

Some thoughts and steps in the right direction...

• Never text and drive. Never. Don't read texts. Don't write texts. If you've done it in the past and escaped any negative consequences, consider yourself lucky and know that luck will run out.
• Business-people are busier than ever and I hear almost every day that if time in the car isn't used to make phone calls there is no way that sufficient work can get done. So if you feel you must continue to conduct business from your car, at least vow to use voice dialing and hands-free equipment. Even that is not ideal, but it's a step.
• Consider where you are when you are on the phone. It's astounding seeing parents on the phone in the car line at school during drop-off and pick-up times. What does it say to a child that whoever is on the phone is more important than being in the moment to wish them a good day or to give them full attention greeting them at the end of the day? And, moreover, kids model parent's behavior. It's hypocritical for parents to scold or be surprised if their new teenage driver takes on the bad phone habits learned from years of watching their parents do the same.
• How important is the call? If something tragic happened and you had to tell the story about why you were on the phone at that time, how would you feel? Even if all that happened is that you wreck your own car -- no injuries -- how mad would you be at yourself?
• Almost every day I hear people lament about how busy life is. How there's barely a moment to relax on this giant hamster wheel of life. Well, the world isn't going to slow down for us so we have to proactively take back control of our own time and set boundaries. You want some quiet time? Make your car a No Phone Zone.
• Visit www.nophonezone.com to read sobering statistics, find out about resources to help you make a shift in your phone habits, and to take the No Phone Zone pledge. 

Do your non-verbals match your words?

While on vacation I went for a run in unfamiliar territory. A residential area, at one point I was charged by two barking dogs. Now I've never met a dog I didn't like so instead of being afraid, I stopped and tried to make friends. I started talking to the dogs in a sweet sing-songy (probably annoying-to-humans) voice and at the same time raised my hands up by my shoulders to show I was no threat.

Until it occurred to me that dogs, not being as familiar with armed robbery as humans, may have interpreted my raised hands as an attack posture instead of a submissive one. Despite the friendly words I was saying, the visual told them I was menace. Duh.

(At that point the owner called the dogs, who trotted into the house and I went on my way.)

How many times is our body language a mismatch with the words we're saying or the image we're trying to project? Any of these sound familiar?

• Networking to "build relationships" and instead of giving full focus on the current conversation, scanning the room for other people to meet.
• Assuring the other person you are listening, but continuing to check messages or text.
• Taking phone calls during meetings or meals.
• Saying "I agree" or "I accept your apology" while standing with your arms crossed across your stomach.

As with most other stuff I write about, I'm as guilty as the next guy of doing these things occasionally. And when I do, the offense is with people I know well and so think I can get away with it. Awareness and focus are mandatory in order to stop the behavior, so I'm focusing on being aware.

I'm curious if you have other examples. If so, share!

Sweet sweet success!

 The first of May I committed to giving up sugar (cookies, candy, cake, pie, ice cream, and the like) for 30 days. Last night at 10:00 p.m. that goal was accomplished. Big deal? Maybe not, but I learned a few things along the way that relate to making other kinds of changes. Changes that many of us struggle with as we try to create new and better habits.

It was a very small change. I know that sugar is hidden in a lot of things and I didn't start reading every label to make certain no sugar of any kind was in the ingredients. I cut out the obvious stuff like what is mentioned above. Also, no stealing bowls of my son's Lucky Charms. Though they are not technically a dessert, calling them anything other than a "sweet" would be pushing it. So it was a manageable change, not something that was going to require massive amounts of new behavior. If you have a new habit you want to create, start very small.

I had good substitutes readily available. I ate more than my fair share of grapes, apples, oranges, and berries -- all natural alternatives to sweets. When temptation hits have a plan for how you are going to address it. In this case I just needed to grab for an alternative sweet. If you are trying to eat more vegetables, have prepared ones ready. If you are trying to stop procrastinating, have one small task you can complete quickly to get yourself in motion.

I had good people around me when I started to weaken. On two occasions I almost caved but one time I had a friend, Terry Honeyball, to talk me out of that unbelievably delicious-looking piece of cake and another time my brother Kevin coached me through a rough spot. It's really important to have people around who will help you when your own resolve starts to wane.

People who tempted me earned my contempt (at least in the short term). When people said "this doesn't really count as a sweet" or "I won't tell anyone you had this one bite" it made me realize that tempting me was more about them than me. If I failed at it, perhaps they could feel better about their own doubts about themselves. So I'm rather joking when I say they earned my contempt, but it did strengthen my resolve. Do not listen to the people who say you'll fail or follow those who want to put you on that path.

The goal had an end. 30 days was difficult but do-able. Sure it was all or nothing but it was only for 30 days. Starting out telling yourself you are making a change "forever" is so daunting. Even saying you'll make the change for a year is overwhelming. Look at how many New Years Resolutions fail! Small steps will get you where you want to be.

Focus.  On one occasion I literally had to tell myself every few minutes to "avoid the ice cream for just the next minute." It looked so good!! Focusing on the goal, (I was 10 days into it at the time and didn't want to start over) made the difference. Get quiet and focus. Clear your head and focus. Breathe and focus.

30 days is enough time for something to become a habit. Even though I plan to eat sweets again, I doubt I'll go back to the mindless munching that prompted this effort in the first place. My brain is different and therefore my habit is different.

Whatever it is you want to accomplish, you can do it. When I look back, it doesn't seem like it was such a long time. The time went by and soon the goal was met. The next 30 days is going to fly by whether you choose to spend it changing a habit or not. But how cool would it be if you could share your success story on July 1st?!

A True Tale of Multitasking

  I decided to order a book on Amazon but wanted to make certain the paperback and hardcover editions were the same. Unsure of whether the paperback edition also included the CD, I assumed checking the ISBN number might help and so went upstairs to get the book. Thinking that perhaps the CD would have it's own ISBN I decided to check and found that the CD wasn’t in the book anymore so I went back upstairs to get it. CD now in hand I tried to burn a copy of the CD in the event the paperback didn’t come with the CD. I made a couple of attempts through iTunes and it didn’t copy successfully so I tried it through Roxio. But before I could try it I had to register the Roxio software -- which I did.  That method didn’t work either so I went back to Amazon to look carefully at the information. This time I felt reasonably assured that the paperback comes with the CD so I added it to my shopping cart. I noticed that my husband had some stuff in the shopping cart and decided to ask him if he wanted me to go ahead and buy his items, too. But when I reached over to pick up my landline handset it wasn’t there. So I went into the kitchen where I had left it after a conference call. While there I nuked a cup of coffee and got an idea for an e-zine post. Motivated to get the thought down before I lost it I came back into my office with the coffee but without the phone and sat down to my computer. But having just changed e-zine software I had to look up my login. While I was looking for that login I glimpsed another login that reminded me that I needed to cancel a credit card that was attached to an automatic invoice from my domain name provider. I made a note to do so and then went through a tutorial or two for the new e-zine software. I started to create the template and realized new photos would be nice so did a Google search on where I might find good free photos. I found iStockPhoto and some good images which I downloaded to My Pictures. I then had to upload the photo to the e-zine site but realized during my photo search I had navigated away from my e-zine software url. I hit the “back” button but doing so took me not to my e-zine site but to Amazon and the photo of the book I was going to order. I realized I needed to call my husband about whether he wanted me to order the stuff he had in the shopping cart so I reached over to pick up the phone, which still wasn’t there and…

 

You can imagine how the rest of this goes. I tell this story on myself for three reasons.

 

1. Multitasking happens to everyone -- even people like me who spend a significant amount of time harping on people to stop it.
2. It's mind-bogglingly dumb to think we are getting things done more efficiently by doing them this way. That whole scenario took about 40 minutes and I finished not one thing. Not. One.
3. Multitasking is a bad habit we can stop by reminding ourselves to slow down and focus.

Here are some ways to remember to slow down, focus and work on one thing at a time.

1. Talk to yourself. Remind yourself out loud to finish one task.
2. Put a note with the word "focus" or "one thing at a time" somewhere you will see it throughout the day. Perhaps on sticky note on the the perimeter of your computer screen, or on a bright 3x5 card.
3. Pick an object, like a paperweight, stone, or small knick knack and every time you look at it think of focusing on one thing at a time.
4. Get a MotivAider, and use the vibration of it to do a self-check on whether you are focusing or multitasking.

Most of us know multitasking isn't a good thing but often we do it out of habit. The ideas above are simply cueing devices to remind ourselves of the new behavior we want to do.

The world isn't going to slow down for us so we have to get better at slowing ourselves down in the face of a million things to do.  Get comfortable with the idea that there are always going to be a million things to do and doing more than one of them at a time isn't going to shorten the list. It's just going to make us feel frantic and overwhelmed.

Now excuse me while I go place that order, or call my husband, or.....

Planning and prioritizing boosts productivity.

Gee. I'll bet that never occurred to ya, did it?

I know this "tip" isn't exactly a light bulb moment for most people. Unless of course, your pre-existing light bulb is rather dim.

But I heard something smart -- and I mean --- REALLY smart at a Jeffrey Gitomer seminar on Friday. He said that throughout the morning he would be sharing ideas that would cause many people to say, "Yeah. I already know that." He went on to suggest that if we found ourselves saying that, go one step further and ask ourselves how good we are at that thing we say we already know. Just because we know something doesn't mean we're good at it.

Excellent point. Which is why I stole it.

Most of us know we should plan and prioritize, but how many of us are actually doing it? How many of us are any good at it? If you need a refresher, here are some quick ideas for being better at two skills (planning and prioritizing) that should become habits if you want to maximize your productivity.

And I should add that entire books are written on how best to do these two skills, so I'm not going to be able to exhaust the topic in a blog post, but I can give you a few quick-hit ideas to improve your execution.

Have a plan for every day.

• Spend 15 minutes thinking about how you're going to spend your time during a given work-day. You must take this time because the plan is not going to create itself. During that 15 minutes the plan must be written down in some way. Electronic or paper, whichever works best for you.
• Have your appointment calendar in front of you as well as your list of things you'd like to get done. There's no sense in planning to do three hours of office work if you're booked solid with appointments or meetings all day long.
• Note that in the above bullet I said "things you'd like to" get done. Most of us are masters of over-committing to ourselves. You may want to get ten things done, but in your plan, pick one, two, or three that are non-negotiable. No matter what, you will focus on completing those. How many you choose is based on how long each one will take and how much time you have that day to complete them.
• Why only one, two or three? Because every day is always going to bring something new and unexpected. The plan has to be flexible abd have some wiggle room so we can adjust when things come up. If we have ten things on our plan these unexpected diversions will give us an excuse to do none of the ten. If we have one or two solid commitments, our chances of follow-through are exponentially better.
• If you're sharper at the end of the day, carve out time then to plan for the next day so you'll be ready to go when you hit the office in the morning.
• If, like me, your best time is in the morning, plan your day first thing in the morning.

Prioritize

• If you have two or more things you are committed to getting done, prioritize them so if something has to be moved to tomorrow, you know quickly which one is last on your list for the day.
• Sometimes people get stymied because they feel like all their tasks carry the same urgency. It may seem that way, but since multitasking is very bad, (You don't want to get me started on that rant, do you?) you just have to choose.
• Knowing the difference between projects and tasks can help you prioritize. A task is a single "to do." A project is something that requires two or more tasks. Only tasks should be on your plan for the day. How to keep track of projects is another blog post.

Hope that helps. As always would love to hear feedback, comments and questions. Let me know what's on your mind about this stuff.

More later...

Does Tivo train bad habits?

A number of times in the last few weeks I've found myself wishing I could rewind the radio in my car and I know why.

We have the local cable version of Tivo at our house. I love it because it makes recording shows I love (The Office, Mad Men, Entourage) really easy. But an even better feature is the "rewind" option. No matter whether the show is in real-time or recorded, if I get distracted even for a moment, I can rewind the program and catch what I missed.

It's a little like re-reading the same page you just read but didn't really read because you were thinking about something else. Or vaguely hearing someone talking but not paying attention and then asking them to repeat themselves. Neither of those are new issues. It's the age-old battle between focus vs. multitasking. Focus is good and multitasking is counterproductive. And electronic features like Tivo, if not handled thoughtfully, can help build a habit of inattention.

I'm making an effort to use the "rewind" less because if the show was worth my time in the first place, I should be paying attention. If it's not worth paying attention to, then I should turn off the TV and do something related to whatever is distracting me. Focus is a habit to improve upon every day. Because the better we get at it, the better able we are to handle the endless onslaught of demands on our attention.

It's time to dump files you never use.

I recently got a new computer for which I was long overdue. A software package I had on my old computer won't work on this one, and so I thought about whether I should buy new, compatible software, or just stop using the program. Because the software is essentially a database for my paper files I thought about how much I truly access those paper files. The answer turns out to be, not very much.

The 80/20 rule applies to files (electronic and paper) just like it applies to effort/results, clients/revenue, and individuals/wealth. Of all the stuff we file, chances are we're only going to access 20% of it. And frankly that number may be a bit high for me. So the purging process has begun!

Rare is the person who has a solid week, or even a solid day, to spend going through papers and deciding what to keep and what to purge. So in the case of paper files, set an amount of time that you have to devote the file clean-out project. It doesn't have to be a huge chunk of time. A lot can be accomplished in as little as 15 minutes. The set a timer and get to work. Focus like a laser beam on the purging effort until the timer dings.

I recommend the timer so you can really focus instead of checking your watch or the clock. Focus is vital for making headway.

When your time is up for the day, put a sticky note on the file to indicate where you stopped, so when you have another few minutes of purging time scheduled, you'll immediately know where to start.

Later I'll be providing a list of questions to ask yourself so you can decide what to keep and to toss.

See you then!

Nobody's perfect. And sometimes I'm not even close.

I've been away from this blog since August 8th and in the blogworld where consistency is everything, that's a major problem. I could give you a long list of reasons why I haven't posted in awhile but none of them, even if they are good reasons, really matter. I didn't post. Period. End of story.

But of course I can't end the story there. What I wanted to understand is what was really behind the good reasons/excuses for not posting -- and I think I figured it out. I had tried to absorb too much information about how to make the most of blogging. Instead of just blogging, I got caught up in trying to learn about about del.icio.us, StumbleUpon, Digg, widgets, RSS feeds, linking to other bloggers, commenting on blogs, uploading stuff and, you get the point. I'm not a techie so all that information I half-understood was making my head spin and ache. And I was overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, when all I needed to be doing was posting.

The lesson there for me is that it's a good idea to step back from complexity now & then and just make things as simple as possible in order to get things done.

So I'm back, and I can't say I won't fall off the wagon again because blogging hasn't quite become a habit like brushing my teeth yet. But I'm working on it, and that's all any of us can really do.

Which brings me to a great post by Leo at Zen Habits. I love what he admits and I couldn't agree with him more.   http://zenhabits.net/2008/08/the-dirty-little-secrets-of-productivity-bloggers/

More later...

Phoning while driving is a bad habit.

Let's get something straight here. All evidence indicates that talking on the phone while driving --both with a phone or hands-free -- makes a person more likely to be distracted, have a slower response time, fail to notice a sudden change in environment, etc.

When we say, "No. I'm really conscientious. I can do both just fine." what we're really saying is "I don't care how much evidence is presented, I'm going to talk on the phone in the car because my need to have this conversation outweighs any concern I may have about exits I may miss, accidents I may cause, or stupid driving mistakes I make." Let's at least be honest with ourselves, huh?

Because I preach "no talking on the phone in the car" I kind of have to practice that. And I will tell you it's really easy and it's really hard. (Next time I get on a soapbox it's definitely going to be about something that's easier to practice myself.) And sometimes when it's really hard I become a hypocrite. A well-meaning, good-excuse-making one. But a hypocrite nonetheless.

Progress is better than perfect. So except on those very rare hypocritical occasions, I don't talk on the phone in the car because with that time I can...

• ...listen to CDs that will make me smarter
• ...listen to funny or educational stuff on the radio
• ...listen to music which elevates my mood...every time
• ...set a good example. I have a 9-year old son who will be driving someday and when that time comes I want it "burned in his brain" that talking on the phone while driving is as dumb as not wearing a seat belt.
• ...have a conversation with my son, thus proving to him that he IS more important to me than any call I might get or make
• ...revel in the complete silence of the road
• ...focus on deep, cleansing breathing
• ...imagine myself running faster and stronger, so the next time I run I can emulate that picture
• ...think up stuff to write in this blog
• ...notice the scenery
• ...wonder how much it costs to fill up a Hummer these days
• ...think of better ways to serve my clients
• ...think about what I would do with a million dollars. (Hire a driver so I could talk on the phone in the car?  Maybe not.)
• ...think. About nothing at all.

I'd love to hear what you think about this. You can agree with me or present an alternate viewpoint. You can share some other ideas for what one might do with phone-free car time. Let me hear from you.

Simplify...and grow your business

A few weeks ago I had the chance to go to a presentation by Mark LeBlanc of Small Business Success. He was in St. Louis and did a seminar for the local chapter of the National Speakers Association. It was tremendous, and here's why.

As small business owners we can get bogged down with opportunity. If you're a small business owner you know exactly what I mean. There are dozens of ways to market, product and service expansion ideas, gobs and gobs of networking opportunities, etc. Sometimes we need to get back to business at its simplest level to make certain we're still (or starting out on) the right track.

His very small (I'm telling you, it's simple) and readable book takes you through the required steps to get your business where you want it to be. Of course, starting out by making certain you know where you want your business to be.

Mark made a powerful statement I'll not soon forget. He suggested that businesses do not fail because of lack of commitment or conviction. They fail because of lack of Clarity, Congruence and Consistency. If you want to succeed you must know precisely what you need to be doing, you must both do what you promise to do and behave the way you tell others to behave, and do the right things over and over and over.

The workshop was rich with material. And though I've been in business for eight years, acting as though I was just starting out allowed me to clear away the distractions that had crept in and take a fresh approach.

Check out his "Growing Your Business" book over on the right side of this blog, and visit his website, www.MarkLeblanc.com